Last weekend was our little firecracker's birthday and after a week of typical British summertime storms, the stars aligned and the sun came out over Haydock Races.
Now we're a civilised bunch, would we be found guilty of twerking mid-race? Absolutely not.
So for all future race goers, here is our ten point guide to raceday etiquette - the dos and the don'ts.
1 | Arrive in style. If you're not as lucky as us and cannot locate a yellow 'What's the story in Balomory' minibus then any offensively bright vehicle should do.
2 | Raceday wardrobe. Men, look dapper. Women, look fabulous.
3 | A smile makes an outfit.
4 | You can leave your hat on. Social kissing when wearing a wide brimmed hat is notoriously difficult. There is a knack to tilting the head at a suitable angle, but to avoid a wide-brimmed-hat-social-greeting faux pas, we'd advise an air kiss. Ladies spare a thought for your fellow race-goers, extravagant creations, large bows and exotic feathers might block their view of the action.
5 | A safe bet. By all means have a flutter but avoid any excessive or sonorous reactions. Accept your loss(es) and move on. Equally nobody likes a gloater.
6 | Bar etiquette. Pace yourself, a longer summer racing afternoon can prove to be highly intoxicating and you don't want to make an exhibition of yourself....
7 | Picnic etiquette. Careful consideration should be applied when choosing condiments. We don't need to remind you that alfresco dining is no reason to forget your table manners.
8 | Track side etiquette. Composure is key. Avoid annoying fellow race goers by keeping noise levels to a minimum and sitting peacefully and respectfully on the grass. Obviously limbo contests are a big no no.
9 | Enjoy the entertainment without making a social tit out of yourself. Twerking, slut-dropping, goose dancing and any other lewd or obscene dance moves are no more acceptable at the racecourse than at a dive bar. Again if Tom Jones tells you to leave your hat on please do so.
10 | Remember raceday is about having fun. And nobody ever had fun by following a bunch of rules.
Big love from the raceday specialists
x
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